Glimmers are there but faded into the darkness

The constant reminders that life is changed for the worse blocks out any glimmer of joy. My son played tournaments, but he did so because his season was taken away. He is preparing for football, but he may not play. He is returning to school, but thousands are not. My daughter is going to rush, but it has gone virtual. She is returning to college, but only in a hybrid setting. She is returning to college but thousands will not, can not. And many never will.

The farmer’s market is open, but to a limited number of people so those farmers are operating at a loss. Will they lose their livelihood? My husband kept his job, but if airplane don’t fly soon, he won’t. And hundreds at his workplace did not. We all know the unemployment numbers are climbing and there are no options for work. Teachers are quitting or retiring, what will our children do? And these teachers will not find work elsewhere.

I am overwhelmed with the worry of the “others”. Those who are out of work, those who cannot return to school, the ones who are trapped in unsafe spaces, the elderly who did not choose to spend this time in isolation. But, though I am consumed with concern, I am called selfish for wanting a return to a full life for those willing to take it. I am considered inhumane and uncaring of other people’s lives.

The opinion surveys that are cited concerning return to school, what are the demographics within those surveys? Are the adults without school age children? Are they single parents or low income families? Are they people with little technology at their grasp? Who is deciding for whom? I do not think the response to this virus is balanced or fair.

I am blessed. I have a job, my husband has a job, for now, my children will return to school. We are financially stable and live in a safe situation. Truly within my own life, there are few concerns. Why does that not bring me joy? I am told it is because I am unselfish and empathetic. That is how the social-media mob would like me to think.

Today I will spend time in my garden, feel the growth and strength within those plants. I will weed out the ones that cause others harm. I will spend time at a party with friends. It is unlawful, but it is right. This may help my mindset. I will also look on how to weed out that which is harmful in the rest of my personal garden. I will attend what is right and disobey what is unjust though lawful.

Possibly with all this, the glimmers of joy will have a longer lasting effect.

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